Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Angst Years of My Life

Teenage Kicks. We've all had 'em. We can't control 'em sometimes. It's funny that when you're young, you really can't wait to grow older and do things which grown ups do. The sad part is when you can do all those 'wonderful new things', it's pretty much anticlimactic.

Think about it, the glories of being an adult and the stuff you can do could be your downfall. As a child, you don't have not much worries through your actions. Breaking a vase or losing dad's favourite book isn't as bad as breaking the law or losing your virginity. Think deeper. The reason for the stuff you did when you were younger were largely based on your capacity to have fun. Past that stage and onto pre-adult life, your fun is risky kicks which might end up kicking you in the back.

But, honestly, you can't back out of some things that you do. Like for me, most of the things I do are for acceptance. I mean, as a teen, you feel like nobody understands you and the stuff you go through and you want to be part of a group which can facilitate to your needs. These social groups are formed by the insecurities of teens. Popular kids need to be told or felt like they're God's gift to the school, in the other end of the spectrum, 'weird' kids have a tendency to dress and prefer different things from the mainstream following crowd. In their respective groups, they get that attention they crave.

Take me for example. I've never really gone out and painted the town red or had loads of chicks. I'm also a very individualistic person, in the sense that I'm competitive and hate large organisations or social groups. I feel that it kills the individual's creative prowess and overwhelms the person's ability to shine. I also wanted to show people that I could do something not many can, or are good at. I wanted to stand out. So I looked towards music. Initially, it was due to acceptance. I wanted people to like me. My insecurities got the better of me when I told myself that girls digged guitarists. So I practiced religiously at home and played till late at night. However, despite my persistence, I never had females coming to me to be blasted by some riff or lick I learnt and practiced. Sucked ass, I know. But it goes to show how much you're willing to go to be accepted by others. However, over time, as I grew more attached to music and honed my playing abilities at home and in school, I began getting recognised by some people. So, I guess in that sense, you never get what you want. But what you had wanted might come when you least expect it.

Other people might do other things. Me, I tell jokes. I want to speak to people and I do that via stories, anecdotes and jokes. Anything to get guys to speak to me, pretty girls to communicate with... The desire to be accepted is something quite forceful. I see girls wearing layer after layer of make-up to make themselves more attractive. It's not wrong, it's just the way we teenagers and young adults do stuff to get noticed and accepted. Some dudes dress flamboyantly, others do cheap stunts. Drug addicts, smokers...you name 'em. Peer pressure to be part of a group or to maintain the same friends you have.

Teenage life is one which is not without drama, my friend. It's sure as hell is fun but it's also one that make one look pathetic. Usually sub-conscious to that individual but the desire to be part of a group, to be accepted, to be loved, to be understood...it's some of the things we teenage have, or are going, through and has is the fuel for us doing what we do and how behave. Of course, you could say that familial upbringings play a part, but there are some cases where prestiges families have kids who do silly things due to external influences. But this is just my take. This is what I feel about life as a adolescent. All these hormones and curiosity mixed with hidden desires and cravings...You'll never know man...

Friday, February 27, 2009

That Berk at Work

Throughout my short life i do recall,
Many people i often appall.
Non more so than the ones who smile
And talk to you for a short while.
The ones who'd shadow your little bright glow
And off-set your strenuous daily work flow.
They often are found lingering around at work,
But are plainly called 'your everyday berk'

They're here and there and come in all shapes and sizes,
Trust me, my friend, its harder to win prizes.
Everywhere you go, you cannot hide,
Don't turn left...yep, he's there by your side.
You're brought up thinking about people and society,
But all they say is just 'me, me, me'
A tight slap across their face Will do just fine,
But alas, nah...you won't waste your time.

In schools they often distract you,
Doing things that often displease you.
After a while it get quite boring,
'Stop it right now! its getting pretty annoying!'
All these people should just be away,
Go somewhere far, or be gone for a day.
Projects are due in a few days time,
Berks of them sorts keep wasting your time.

But really, when you look closer, you'll be amazed at what you see,
You think to yourself, 'wait that's really me.'
Yes, those people who get you down,
They're just like you, you dumb stupid clown.
You're too blind, to silly to see
That people like them are actually you and me.
So the next time your about shout colourful words at that silly turd
Just remember, he's as bad as you are you judgemental berk

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year!

WOOOO! BOOYAY! New Year's Day! Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009! All right!

Nah. Today, as in 1st January 2009, which was yesterday cos I'm posting it the following day, hence...yesterday, 1st January 2009 was the most insane day ever. Don't usually post my daily events, but today was special...In the sadistic, off-beat sense.

3...2...1...Happy New Year!

Not so much for me. I was at gibson.com learning thru their new online lessons. Honestly, Arlen Roth is amazing. That dude can play anything! Was watching, and learning from, him playing B.B. King licks. Sweet as ever...So, I picked up Pattie and played...till around 3 or 4ish. Hmm, I said to myself, a bit late. So i slept...ish.

Shrugged here and there on me bed and felt this strange vibration on my head. I couldn't have been shitfaced...you know, drunk. Cos, I don't drink. Then I realised it was my phone. Eight o'clock...I muttered and cursed under my breath. Not long later, I went back to sleep.

Beep-beep...Again? I picked up my mobile phone and half consciously read the screen. Scanned thru it, hardly. And then, my heart raced...The words 'Meetup', 'shooting (as in film), 'late' appeared. Shit. I had a film shoot and I was late. The thing starts at 9 and I was 2 hours late. Didn't help that the location was at the other side of the Island. So, I rushed to the bathroom, had a quick shower, brushed my teeth, put on some new clothes and then ran out of the door to the bus stop.

12pm. I was about 15 minutes away from the location. I called my friend and apologised. I also asked him which bus to take, cos I wasn't sure how to get there. He told and I...I should have been listening. So I jumped on a bus and was headed towards the right place. However, the bus suddenly turned to an unknown location...to me anyway. As I looked out the window, my mind was cursing. So I jumped off the bus and ran towards, what I thought was, the right direction. It was, until I saw fences. So, I ran back where I came from and ran around the fences. As I jogged, every once in a while, I would enter some void deck and wonder, thinking if this is the right place.

Finally, I reached the place. I was so relieved, tired, I couldn't say anything. I kept keeping to myself cos I was really that tired and kept reassuring everyone I was fine. Unfortunately, it rained. After a succession of shoots, it began to rain...heavily. So we packed up and decided to head home.

This is where it all got interesting. As my friends and I went our separate ways, I went to check if a particular bus headed somewhere near my house. Apparently, it didn't and I went off it. As I did, my bladder felt full and urged me to go to the toilet. So, I checked the back of the bus and ran across the street. Big Mistake.

As I ran, a car came onto me. I saw it and I jumped back...BANG! I was hit by an on-coming vehicle. Time slowed down before impact. You saw the situation slowly but your helpless to prevent it. All I did was jump back and it was enough for me to be unscathed. As I hit the side of the car, my ass hit the side mirror and broke it. My shoulder scraped the top of the car and then my bottom cushion the fall. I got up quickly and felt a slight scratch on my hand. Checked myself...no blood. Phew. I manage to pick myself quickly and go to the car to apologise. Funnily enough, I was so fast, that when I went to the car, the driver hadn't even had the chance to put the clutch down.

I was a wimp at this stage and started apologising like a determined flyer boy passing out flyers. I wanted this whole thing to go away and put it behind...I was fine, no injuries and most importantly...I had to go to the bathroom. Urgently. But it all happened really fast and my mind was like...You need to go to the toilet...NOW! The driver, poor dude...kept asking if I wanted to see the doctor. I kept refusing telling him, I'd rather pay for the broken mirror. In the end, all was fine...I think...I mean we all went home after that.

A weird thing was that, a friend said there was actually a police car present...How did they miss an idiot being hit by a car?

Thursday, December 11, 2008

A Poem For You...and other random stuffs

Roses are red, Bite marks turn blue,
Don't eat wild mushrooms and Lima beans too.
Flowers aren't pretty, often boring and dull,
I'd rather be thinking of pirates and skulls.

Music is wicked... Can't seem to get enough,
Mosh pits are dirty and can get kinda rough.
Gimme a beat and I'll play with it too,
Hopefully rock 'n' roll will come and save you.

Dreams and flights of fancy, ladida and dingerie doo,
Words are floating around like a sewer full of poo.
Cream pie bananas and delicate tastes,
All that money gimme to waste.

Smiles of folly, lightness in my head,
Hehe hehe haha, I feel like I'm dropping dead.
Can't think of what to say when your always around,
Often leaves me hanging in a deep dark frown.

Bananas and fruitcakes, apple pies with cherry tops,
Bad guys are running from the slow overweight cops.
A cry in the distance, all stand frozen still,
Until a sneeze from nearby, the silence now killed.

My mind is a jingling from happy Christmas cheer,
But the elves, they all kinda freak me...as I stand in fear.
How does he do it, make them toys for one whole year,
Doesn't he ever get bored...I mean he's been around for a millenia

Avoiding your questions with silly remarks,
People stand frustrated and fly off like larks.
Even though I speak volumes and reveal tons of information,
My life is concealed through excess communication.

With this I hope, clarity is achieved,
But nothing it seems is ever up heaved.
Another rhyme for later, hope you enjoyed this one,
Let's call it a day, wasn't reading this fun?

Monday, October 13, 2008

GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!

Girls! Girls! Looking around I see,
I wonder which one is meant for me
Love, crush or maybe something might click,
Different kinds of girls, I'd never get sick.

You see the sporty ones jogging all around,
Good and healthy...and they're hardly round.
But you see for watching them I have found,
My ass, they'll kick into the ground.

Chic and classy and a tinge bit wild,
Their fashion senses... I like their style
But going for 'em way too fast,
Mine and their interest... Nah, it wouldn't last.

Tall and leggy will definitely attract you
Because look around man, there're only a few.
But who am I kidding, I can't get any without any tricks,
I mean look at me man, I'm only 5 foot 6.

Happy and joyful with pirate-like smile,
Brings joy to your heart and warmth for awhile.
But the smiles could just be something flirty
And in the end, the thoughts run away feeling quite dirty.

Artsy, cool and tremendously hip,
Black is trendy and coffees they sip.
Music and art and they sound sophisticated,
But too much of that makes my mind constipated.

Popular girls have all they want,
And guys like me stand speechless and stunned.
But they can be too much and a bit of a nag,
Maybe she might be the new future hag.

Finally I conclude that a girl I would fancy,
Is someone nice and always smiling at me.
Don't matter what she do or what she say...
Pfff...alas, maybe I'll meet her one day.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Bored At Home... Alone

Holidays are here! I should be full of cheer,
But everything seems the same.
The reruns aren't funny, I'm losing my money,
And nothing but me's to blame.

Can't say its fun, when I talk to no one,
And I'm sitting at home all alone.
No games to play, and I can no longer stay,
At home in my couch I call 'throne'.

Pick up a book, the cover I look,
Something interesting to read at last.
Few days gone by, I give a big sigh,
That book was finished too fast.

Look out the window, watching the rain flow,
Like tears inside your heart.
It feels so boring, on the bed I go snoring,
And when no ones looking, I give a big fart.

I stroll outside, but no one by my side,
Watching the movies, as one.
The show might be funny, character's horny,
But watching alone is no fun.

Play my guitar, pretending to be a star,
Sing Zeppelin songs all day long.
Until I found out, the songs that I shout,
The lyrics I got all wrong.

Playing the blues, kicking off my shoes,
The music it comes to me.
The magic I feel, comes so real,
The music my heart can see.

An idea pops out, my bed I jump out,
The girl I fancy might be free.
I take my chance, "this is my stance"
But damn...she has someone already.

Maybe school's my salvation, with this information,
I think of it thoroughly.
Bored all alone, waiting at home,
Maybe holidays just aren't for me.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Creativity and Intelligence

I.Q. tests, Career amplitude tests, Art competitions...All are ways to feed the hungry ego and diminish intelligence and creativity. Why? Because some 'man' was gifted the power, divine by the way he treats it, to categorize and label your work or level of understanding. Don't get me wrong...tests and exams are good. It actually helps the progression of mankind. Makes people work hard and get rewarded for something which started out as 'an equal opportunity'.

But some things should be worked with instead of working against.

True, some people are talented. Maybe a prodigy, where the person honed their skills when young, or just simply born good. Most of the time 'talent' refers to an art form. Be it in music, story-telling or painting to name a few. But it is unfair to really call some better than others just because the result of something they worked on seems 'good' or 'enjoyable' to you. I mean, this goes into a person's creativity and mind set.

You shouldn't come with quick assumptions that someone is 'stupid' just because they see problems logically and aren't 'thinking out of the box'. Everyone is creative, it's just how they perceive things. Just because one dude has an outrageous and unexpected idea or design does not mean that he's better than someone who has an idea which is organized and predictable. No...far from it. It's simply how the minds work and understand situations. Different is good but different can also be unrealistic, which usually leads to dreams that float away.

If I were a teacher and I had to teach a creativity class, I would tell the less expansive or broad-minded guys to work with what they are good at. I would tell them...'Look, you might feel your ideas are lacking in areas, well just use that idea and make it better by fusing it with what your good at.' Its much better than putting them off, which makes the whole situation unproductive and unnecessary. If I got people with brilliant and wacky ideas, I wouldn't praise their thinking like they're god sent...I would ask them to do it. Proof that their idea is different and 'outstanding' and make it work. Its just being practical. If they create something outlandish and spectacular it would be awesome...and most people would just be stunned and amazed by the idea and honestly...It's still just an idea.

But before you scowl me...This leads me to another point. No idea is stupid. All ideas are clever because it takes thought to create one. If an idea is stupid...Then who created it? The person had a level of intelligence to think it up. Therefore in actual fact all ideas are clever. Some maybe unique and heard of but they are all not stupid.

Everyone is creative in an area. Everyone. Just because others see you lacking in one...You're sure to kick their ass in another. I'd like to think I'm ok in music...Again, I'd like to think, of course. But there are definitely many...many...many others who'd agree...hahaha, cheeky. What I meant to say was disagree. I certainly don't have the eye for many things, but I know I have talent in some other area. Everyone as well. And no talent is dumb. If people call it 'talent' and say its dumb...It's still talent and they are saying that cos...most likely they suck at it.

One more thing. In the topic of intelligence, don't you feel sorry for people with mental disabilities...I mean, everyone is fighting to be the best and they are often swept aside and pushed away. I mean, these guys have a mind and its sad because, most of the time its understanding the situation which puts them down. They have difficulty with their surroundings and they find it tuff to adjust to everything in a society which expects to do to that. They are confused and 'normal' people just don't get that. Imagine going to a foreign land...you'd be confused...for them its that everyday. And by the way, they are talented. They may lack in communications but they are fucking brilliant in areas like Art, Music, Mathematics...the list goes on. So don't belittle them.

Argg...Finally, its nearly done. So remember yea...If you feel inferior with something, metaphysical of course, work with what you're good at and expand it...fuse it...make it yours. And no idea is without thought.